wow.

In the past several days so much has happened! I have been prepping for my med school interview at Emory on Monday by doing mock interviews with Franklin, who was much more keen on doing them than I was. As usual, though, Franklin was right about my need to practice, and I feel much more comfortable to my answers to common questions such as "Tell me about yourself." and "Why are you interested in medicine?". I also got a lot of great information about the school from a friend who goes there, and I am even more excited about Emory than I was before. It seems like such a great fit for me, and I can't wait to see the campus and hospital in person.

On top of the interview coming up next week, I also got an invitation to interview at UW-Madison School of Medicine and Public Health (SMPH)! That invite has started a firestorm of planning for an engagement party while I'm home, which will be a lot of fun. That interview is happening the Friday before my interview at Tulane, so I will have a lot of action in that short amount of time. It will be exciting but potentially overwhelming, so I will have to constantly remind myself to relax and enjoy the ride.

In addition to exciting plans for my medical school future, our engagement photo shoot will be in a few weeks. It will be a lot of fun to put together some photos that represent us as a couple, and to give me something to worry about rather than the results of my Emory interview.

I feel so lucky and blessed that so much is happening for me right now. It is such a difference from a month or so ago when it seemed like my life was at a standstill and I was waiting for ANYTHING to happen. I am going to try to enjoy being busy without getting stressed out, which for me is a tall order. However, with so much good news I think it should be quite easy, even for someone as cynical as me.

i'm still alive

I haven't written anything for a while (and I know nobody is more disappointed about that than my father), but I think it was because the application process has been quite hard on me. Everyone applying to medical school says that, I know. But it's true. Part of the nature of the application process is that you must know not just the answers to the deepest questions about yourself, but you must be able to eloquently spell it out. It's like your life is an essay and your life thesis is "I want to be a doctor." I personally have known I wanted to be a doctor since I was in seventh grade, and had experiences that pushed me toward medicine even before that. If this is this hard for me, I don't know how people who decide they want to go into medicine later in life do it.

Now that interview season is in full swing, I have to be able to vocalize my life story, rather than having the safety of Microsoft Word to help me craft the perfect response to every question. To practice, I have been talking to the white wall behind my desk. That thing is going to be my closest friend by the end of interview season. Frankly, I'm glad I have been practicing my speaking because I've realized I have some pretty obnoxious habits. For instance, I like to gesture with my hands a LOT, especially when I'm not really believing what I'm saying. It's as if I think that the more I gesture, the more convincing my story will seem. After one failed interview, though, I know the need for a streamlined and interesting story to have in my back pocket. Being at a school talking to actual ADCOM members who have your fate in their hands is totally different from filling an application out from a thousand miles away. I think the experience made me realize that if I don't fully believe in myself, I won't come off as strongly. The fact that I was so crushed by the rejection showed me I do still have a passion for medicine, and that actually gave me more confidence and reassurance than anything else so far.

The other strange thing about med school applications, as I alluded to, is that every rejection makes you feel as if this dream you've worked so hard for is NEVER GOING TO COME TRUE EVARRRR. So even though I have some great things going for me, like a job in a hospital, friends and family who care about me, and a FIANCE (Yeah, that Franklin dude from the last post proposed and we're getting married in June! Guess wedding planning could add some stress to my life...), sometimes nothing can cheer me up. When I was rejected from the first school I interviewed at, and it seemed like the world would end for a solid week. I even taped the rejection letter to my bedside table to reinforce my failure, or something. I feel bad telling Franklin how unhappy I am during these times because I don't want him to think HE is the reason for my unhappiness. I think I have compartmentalized my life pretty thoroughly, and I am always happy he's in my life, but sometimes the desire for professional self-actualization dictates my happiness for a while. What can I say, I'm a competitive person within reach of my lifelong dream.

That's not to say it's all bad news. Every interview invitation I get buoys my confidence and I just bask in its glory for a while. That's where it's really great to be able to share my successes with someone else, because we get to imagine what our lives would be like moving to that new city. About two weeks removed from an interview the sense of purpose and anxiety creeps back in, but there's also a sense of hope and anticipation along with it.

I guess all I'm trying to say is that it's been a roller coaster of emotions, and it will only get more intense from here. But I know this is only the beginning, and WHEN I get into medical school it will be worth the stress and worrying. 

More incentive: I have vowed that the day I get my first acceptance letter I am buying this for Franklin. So awesome.

I'm Really Lucky (And I Definitely Don't Take It For Granted)

[This is a guest post by Franklin Kao]

Hellooooo all! The owner of this blog (my lovely girlfriend) has been "encouraging" (some would call it "coercing") me to start a blog for quite some time now. Since that didn't work, she found a compromise and got me to occasionally post on her blog here.

So that got me thinking ... what is my first blog post going to be about? Seeing as how I just got back from work, my mind went there first of course, and luckily, there was a very interesting thing that happened at work today that got me thinking about my life...

For those of you who don't know where I work (which is probably most, if not all), I work at FOX Sports as an Associate Producer. I've helped produce shows for College Football, Soccer and the World Series!

Now, every Tuesday, our production staff holds a general meeting discussing the week's upcoming projects. It usually runs the same way: 1) Our head producer - aka boss - talks about what went well and what could be improved from the previous week's show, 2) We talk about what this week's show will entail and figure out what storylines we want to focus on, what pieces need to be cut and what needs to get shot 3) and lastly, we discuss any other special events or items that we should keep an eye out for in the coming weeks.

BOOM! That's when things took a turn.

After our meeting finished it's usual routine, the boss brought up a fact that there was a Production Assistant (read: lowest dude on the totem pole in production) who showed up late to work for our race on Sunday and when he/she was confronted about it by his/her superior, talked back and had a bad attitude about it.

The lead producer ended up talking to the PAs about how they need to relish the fact that they're working for a highly regarded company and that there are hundreds of people that would love to have their jobs. This sentiment was then echoed by a couple other producers and the meeting ended.

This little incident at work just reinforced something that I think about all the time...and though it's assumed, I was glad to see that most of my peers and superiors feel the same way.

I'm Really Lucky.

I might be the luckiest guy in the world.

But I definitely don't take that for granted.

I realize that I'm working for a company that I dreamed about working for in college. And every day I wake up understanding that.

I work incredibly hard because I know that I've been given a privilege to work there. I get to watch, talk about and think about sports all day long. In fact, I have to! It's my job :) ! I know there are hundreds of people out there vying for my job because I was one of them, and I never forget that.

I also realize that I've been lucky beyond the workplace. I was given the opportunity to attend and graduate from the greatest university in the world. My family has always been loving and supportive towards me. I've made incredibly smart, funny and intriguing friends everywhere I've gone. And I managed to find the most perfect girlfriend who complements me in every way.

Basically, I am just so appreciative of everything that has happened to me and I never want to take it for granted. I will continue to work my hardest to be the best employee possible and to also be the best person possible because that's the least I can do after I've been dealt this great of a hand.

sorry i was away... but i made you dinner!

O hai there, all 3 of you who keep up with this blog.  As it turns out, it's been pretty easy to do so the past few weeks because I've been so busy working that I haven't been updating it.  Gotta start saving up for those med school apps! (And by saving, I mean buying colored, cropped jeans. So chic!)

Ok, maybe I'm doing both of those things.  But with the amount of time I'm working (I have no "weekend" because if I'm not working at one job, I am of course at the other), I think I am justified in giving myself a few indulgences here and there.  A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down, right?

So since it's been so long I decided to try something new: 

Dinner-making post!!

To be fair, we had some help from the beloved Trader Joe's and Pavilion's. So this meal was kind of semi-homemade, but I had to have pretty sweet MacGyver skills to execute it.  So let's get started, shall we?

The inspiration for this meal were these cute little shu mai that we got from the freezer section of TJ's.  Trader Joe's hasn't let us down yet, so I was NOT going to let this be the night that it did. 

Shu mai are typically steamed, and although the package said these could be microwaved, I just wasn't prepared to compromise on my shu mai experience.  Unfortunately, being a recent college grad who is --as much as I try to forget it--white, I didn't have a bamboo steamer at my disposal.

This is where I had to get... creative.

Behold my makeshift aluminum foil steamer!

I stabbed little holes in it with a knife, scrunched it around the outside of my pot with water inside, and once it started boiling I actually had a pretty serviceable steamer on my hands!

Look at all that steammmmm.

Adding the first shu mai to the steamer! I started using chopsticks so I didn't burn myself and to set them down gently as I tested the durability of my aluminum foil steam basket, but I eventually had to switch to using my fingers.  I'm just NOT that good with chopsticks... yet.

Eventually, though, everybody made it into the pot! So I could switch to the second part of the meal: 

Pavilions' generic white-people version of an Asian salad.

Yes, the dressing packet is labeled "Asian Delight."

To be fair, though, it was actually pretty tasty.  It needed something else though, so I chopped up some extra chicken breast that I had previously made using this recipe (it really is fool-proof) and the salad was done!

As the shu mai finished cooking, we realized we still needed a dipping sauce for them... so I had some help making a simple sauce to dip them into.  Soy sauce, vinegar (we happened to have rice vinegar), and sesame oil in the ratios you most want at the moment. So simple it's perfect.

Then at last, the shu mai were done! And they didn't fall into the pot and meet some fiery (or, more technically, watery) demise, so I was prepared to deem them a success whether they actually tasted good or not.

After all that work, we were ready to sit down together and have a nice, perfectly staged meal.

So of course, I'm sure you're thinking we were eating at a table, or something.

But this is what how we actually ate:

Yeah, check out that messy coffee table.  If you didn't believe I'm a recent college grad, you definitely do now.

We had to catch up on the latest episode of The Voice!  We're addicted to it, and Carson always seems hilariously rushed at the end of the shows.  My favorite part is when the contestants who got kicked off are saying good bye and try to grab the mic, but Carson just stands there holding that mic as if it's the last thing he will ever do on earth.  Gotta love live TV.

So there you have it!  It was a pretty tasty meal, if I do say so myself, and it was even fun to make. :)  It's so relaxing to take the time to cook a meal after a long day of work, so I'm glad that my efforts are usually pretty successful.  Trader Joe's still has yet to disappoint us in providing us a great meal, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the streak continues.  Thanks for reading!

in defense of reading books.

I have always loved reading books.  I've been told I am a loudmouth, that I love the sound of my own voice, that I'm "loquacious," etc, but when I have a really good book to read, that side of me disappears into the pages I'm reading.  


Yes, I mean that it's the only thing that will shut me up.


Anyway, reading books is one of those things I get obsessed with, and I can't stop until I've finished the chapter, then book, then series of books that I have started.  However, starting in high school once I started doing a thousand extracurriculars (cross country, track, forensics, school musical, marching band, National Honor Society), and continuing through college (sorority, second sorority, marching band still, social life, classes) my bookreading dropped off because there were so many other things I had to do, and so many other not as fun books I was required to read.


So it's pretty funny that now the only thing that shuts me up is what makes my boyfriend worry about me.  Not actually, but fake worry in the way that I'm not constantly yapping away when I'm doing it.  I recently decided to start reading the Hunger Games, but I'm doing it sneakily on the computer, so there's no way for him to know when I'm reading a book and when I'm doing something else.  It's not his fault, really, but he just gets confused when he's in the other room and realizes that it's been 30 minutes and nothing's come out of my ever-blabbing mouth.


I know he thinks I'm weird, because I can get through a book like the Hunger Games in 2 days.  He thinks that is the weirdest thing ever, like I have some superpower that gave me ultrahuman reading ability.


Actually, come to think of it, he would probably think that was cooler if I were an X-Man or something.  


But my theory is, if I'm going to be reading something, I might as well be reading a book.  I can feel good about spending 2 hours reading a book.  Because let's be honest, 80% of the time I'm reading something, just not anything of use.  Blogs (yes I'm aware that I'm demeaning my own medium), emails, Perez Hilton the New York Times online, OK! Magazine Time Magazine, and, you know, other fine news sources.  


What do I have to say for myself if I've read OK! for 2 hours?  That Kim K is bouncing back and Emma Stone's Oscar dress was nice, but it also was 5 years ago when Nicole Kidman wore it?  But if I read a book, I get to say that I got through an entire, fully-fleshed out story.  Maybe I even had to think a bit.  So if reading a book in 2 days makes me unusual, so be it.  Hopefully people will even get used to me shutting up for once.

post-quiz puppy!

I love professors sometimes.


Following my Genetics quiz tonight, I was delighted to see an extremely excited (though pleasantly chunky) yellow lab running down the stairs ahead of me to exit the building.  Sadly for me, I soon spotted the dog in question's owner; clearly a UCLA professor.  It's always my secret hope that I will "have to" adopt any four-legged friend that comes my way. 


"Oh, is this your dog?" I asked, always ready to engage a dog owner in conversation.  One never knows if those few extra seconds provided by talking to the owner will result in an extra behind-the-ear scratch.  Yes, you guessed it, I only talked to the owner to increase my dog-petting chances.  I never regret my strategy. 


"Well, he's not a student!" replied the professor good-naturedly.  


To put this in context, I love love LOVE witty professors.  They have to deal with sarcastic, obnoxious students all day anyway, so when they can dish it out as well it offers me endless amusement.


"Haha," I laughed, "He's probably smarter than most students though!"


I thought I was being sooo clever, engaging in his banter while still trying to corner the energetic pooch.  But he wasn't out of snide comments yet.


"He's probably smarter than most professors!"


Yes sir, you are right.  He probably is.  I tip my hat to you that you are willing to say that, not only on your college campus, but also presumably while you leave your classroom and talk to a student.  His pure disrespect for his fellow educators was so hilarious to me that I actually had no response other than to laugh and watch (somewhat sadly) as the yellow lab's rapidly-wagging tail whipped out of petting range.


So in the end, my "talk to dog owners" strategy, though usually just a selfish ploy to be able to play with the dog, actually resulted in the most entertaining conversation I'd had today.  This is definitely the universe's way of telling me that, no matter whether or not I make contact with the furry object of my pursuit, my habit of talking to dog owners is beneficial to my happiness.

minor interlude

So to make up for my long absence, I'd like to do a funnier post today, the topic being the similarities and differences between the midwest and LA.  Since I've been in LA for about 8 months now (whaaaaaaaaaat?) I feel like I have had a decent amount of first-person experience with which to back my statements up.  But these will, of course, be wildly broad generalizations, so take them as you will.

Similarity:
In both places, people will compliment you on your outfit.

Difference:
In LA, people want to know EXACTLY where you bought it/who the designer is.  (My favorite thing is telling people when I got things at Forever 21.  I can see them inwardly questioning their fashion sense that they actually got tricked by the evil affordability of XXI Forever.) Same for makeup: I have extended conversations about OPI nail polish while working at Banana Republic sometimes.

Similarity:
Everyone thinks they are fantastic drivers but actually all SUCK.

Difference:
In the midwest, "driving time" is roughly analogous to actual distance traveled.  For instance, a Wisconsinite will tell you it takes an hour to get somewhere if it is 60 miles away.  In LA, especially during rush hour, "driving time" and actual distance traveled are nowhere near being close.  It can take up to 60 minutes to go 3 miles in the worst traffic.

Similarity: Everyone loves complaining about the weather.

Difference: In Wisconsin/Chicago, people will complain when 1. There is no snow on the ground in December when it's supposed to be "pretty," 2. There IS snow on the ground in March, 3. It's so cold you can't feel your fingers/nose/toes/*insert arguably necessary extremity here*, or 4. When it's humid and 90 degrees in the summer.  In LA, people will complain when it rains for 5 minutes or if the temperature dips below 60.  In both cases, Los Angelenos apparently believe a puffer jacket to be appropriate attire.

Similarity: Women in rich suburbs, whether it be any Northshore Chicago 'burb or Brentwood in Los Angeles, believe yoga pants to be God's gift to butts.  They can be found in any situation at any time of day or night, and I can guarantee 90% of the butts occupying said yoga pants are neither going to nor coming from yoga class.

Difference: On my Northwestern Memorial Hospital volunteer ID badge, my picture is weirdly stretched so my face looks fat.  On my UCLA Health System ID badge, my face is weirdly stretched so I look skinnier than I am.

Similarity: I've always kept up with and enjoyed watching awards shows on TV, like the Grammys and Oscars.

Difference: Here, not only can I watch the awards shows, but I feel a special bond with them, as they mess up my commute because of the traffic heading to the venues.

Ok that was just a sample, I'll try to add more as I think of them.  I'm a big fan of pros and cons, so looking at these two lifestyles head to head was a lot of fun!  I hope you enjoyed if you got this far, and have a good week!

it's the little things...

I think one of the greatest things about getting to take some time off is that I get to do little things like pack a lunch for the boyfriend some days.  Though it may sound house-wifey, anti-feminism, and whatever else demeaning to women you might think of, there's just something satisfying about getting to do something as simple as making a sandwich for someone you care about.  I know I am doing something for him that probably only his mother has done for him before, and that makes me happy.  There's a certain intimacy to lunch-packing, because you have to know what the person likes and dislikes, and even how they like their sandwich cut (diagonal all the way, obvi).  There's a kind of trust and caring that I find very sweet.

I think at the core, for me at least, I always wanted to be a doctor so I could take care of people.  The lunch-packing routine is just one small way I can feel important, at least to one person in the world.  So even though I might be reading a little too much into the mundane task of making a sandwich, I don't care.  If thinking of it this way makes me want to help him out, I will gladly keep on considering the act of packing a lunch as a sacred ritual that only few will share.

life is busy!

I got to interview prospective students for admission into Northwestern on Sunday.  It was such a surreal feeling.  If I were still in school, even med school, I would not have felt like I was allowed to do something like that.  It was a strange but great feeling getting to walk up the stairs to the alumni meeting room and actually realize that yes, I am a part of this community.  It's a pretty cool feeling that I feel like that about a place that is 2,000 miles away.


I have been away for a while because my schedule got super busy all of a sudden!  I also had my first Kaplan class on Tuesday, which wasn't terrible but could have been better.  I can definitely work on actually saying what I mean the first time a lot more, because my students had a lot of questions!  Good thing I get to put that into practice with my class tomorrow...


I am having kind of a funny time teaching, actually, because I am also taking a Genetics class at the UCLA Extension, so I am either a student or a teacher, depending on the night.  I think I always took for granted the fact that my professors should just be great public speakers and should always be on their A game, but now that I have to teach as well I kind of admire how professors are correct so much of the time.  It's actually really impressive, especially when they have to lecture to a room of 100+ students.  Part of me wants to take notes on his teaching style as well as the science he is actually teaching us, haha.


And to cap off my busy busy week, I am getting to take some computer training classes for the UCLA job... not the most glamorous, but it has to be done, I suppose, especially since I'll be doing administrative stuff.


Oh and of course I'm still doing Banana Republic.  It's getting a lot harder to be polite and nice to people the more stuff I'm doing (aka the more tired I get).  But I suppose it's good practice for the future... just because you're tired doesn't give you the right to be an a-hole, right?  In college people kind of let things like that go, but in the real world being just a little rude to a customer (even if they were being a thousand times MORE rude to you) will only result in trouble.  So as hard as it is, when customers are really annoying me I just put on my extra-fake-polite tone: about an octave higher than my usual voice, and way more "pleases" and "thank yous" and "have a great day!" than necessary.  I don't think anyone's caught on yet that that's what it means, so it's working for now.


Ok time to keep doing some work... I just knew that if I didn't get another entry soon my sisters would be on my case, as apparently this blog is my father's new obsession.  I'll try to keep it updated more, I promise!

My! what a big class you have!

...was the title of my Kaplan faculty manager's email to me regarding my MCAT class that's starting next week.  


All my fears are officially confirmed.


It's a good thing I made a Trader Joe's run today so I  have Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Covered Mint Espresso Beans to comfort me! Om nom nom.

alone time.

Due to the glamorous nature of the boyfriend's job at FOX Sports, I am on my own until the weekend while he gets to travel to Texas and help cover the Cotton Bowl. (Yeah, I sometimes wonder how his life is real, too.)  This means that I am on my own for a few days, which I have mixed feelings about.

Pro: I get to stay up watching White Collar instead of Sports Center (Which I still like! Just not as much as I like watching Matt Bomer being debonair and charming... unless Aaron Rodgers is on Sports Center. But I digress.)

Con: I am almost completely caught up on the gloriousness of White Collar, which means that after one more episode I have to wait to watch it live. Life is rough.

Pro: No need to wake up extra early in the morning so we are both ready in time for work.

Con: No one else is here to help wash dishes.  I really don't like washing dishes, but I like cooking and dirtying a lot of them, which poses a problem.

Pro: The Cotton Bowl (or should I say the AT&T Cotton Bowl) apparently has a lot of money, so media people get sweet gifts, like super legit watches. I am vicariously living through the boyfriend because free and/or unexpected gifts are one of my favorite things in the world.

Con: The gifts are not ACTUALLY for me, as much as I wish they were.

Pro: I have an excuse to buy myself things to make up for the fact that I'm not gallivanting around doing exciting things. (today I bought these, my first ever J.Crew pants, and they are glorious.)

Con: I have to pay for aforementioned things myself.

I could have kept that schtick up for much, much longer, but I'm sure I've made my point.  

In other news, I also learned that GAP is currently selling nail polish, so I will need to exercise hitherto unknown of self control to prevent myself from buying it ALL THE TIME.  The 50% employee discount for being a Banana Republic employee is both a blessing and a curse.  Again, life is rough.

I'll also be teaching the MCAT for Kaplan again soon!  This is my most challenging task, so I'm sure it will be mentioned here often.  It is still crazy to me that a little over a year ago I was studying to TAKE this exam, and now I have been given the chance to teach others how to do it.  If I help my students a quarter of the amount my Kaplan teacher helped me, I will be more than happy.

And finally, I am starting to get rolling on my new job in the UCLA Health System as an Administrative Care Partner, which is just a fancy word for a secretarial aide for the nurses in a given section of the hospital.  UCLA has a lot of really intense paperwork and training, but I know it'll be worth it because I'll actually be getting to work in hospitals!! Also, the training is paid, which is awesome.

These first few posts are probably going to feel very disjointed because I haven't yet decided how I am going to organize this thing, if at all.  Also, I can't decide if I should address anything to or entertain an audience or not.  Maybe I'll do life-update posts on certain days and more introspective posts when I actually think about the composition of what I'm writing on others.  If any of the 3 people who are reading this have any suggestions, I'm all ears.

For those of you who made it this far, a few of my favorite things:

shiba inu puppies.

half Asian babies. (I was only going to post a picture, but I found the accompanying text hilarious so I included that as well.  Geneticsssssss.)

and... husky puppies.

happy new year.

For the beginning of 2012, I have decided to indulge in one of the most cliche of activities and start a blog.  


Real original, I know.  


But what it lacks in originality, I think it makes up for in both necessity and agency, for myself at least.  At Northwestern, the thing I dreaded most (something I believe many premeds and once-premeds experience) was graduating with an undergraduate degree without an immediate med school acceptance waiting for them.  I thought it meant I wasn't good enough, or didn't have "what it takes" to get to med school.  


But after just a few months out of school, I realize that the experiences I have already had, from moving to a completely new place to doing the dreaded job hunt, have added immeasurably to my life experience and my maturity.  It has also allowed me to indulge a few of my hobbies and (some might say) obsessions.   


So that's what this blog is going to be for.  To allow me to wax poetic about the joys of OPI nail polish, Urban Decay's eyeshadow palettes, cooking and baking, the Packers and the 'Cats, and whatever else in my life merits a mention that day.  This is not going to be a focused chronicle of just one part of my life-- I feel like my life has too many facets for me to ignore any of them.  So on any given day I might seem like a complete makeup fiend, but the next you might find me excited about the latest scientific or (more likely) medical innovation.


But that's the point.


This year, my "Time Off," as I have so creatively decided to call this little endeavor of mine, is the time for me to be able to let all my interests grow and develop.  I feel I cannot adequately devote my life to helping others if I do not even have an accurate sense of who I am, what I want, and how I want to live.


If nothing else, the premed in me knows that this will allow me to look back on this year and write a good personal statement.  But the "real person" in me knows that this is something I need to do for me, not some medical school board of admissions.


I may update every day, or it may be every other week.  Either way, allow me to express my thoughts and keep this little online stream of consciousness of mine going.